I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
