We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
