i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
