yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
