the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
