We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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