you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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