Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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