Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
