My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
