it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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