At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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