Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
