yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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