are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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