My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What a dumb baby whore.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
