i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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