Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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