i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
