we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
