I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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