i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
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I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
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He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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