1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
