:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize