Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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