roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize