Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
