He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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