Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
