i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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