Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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