Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
