I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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