When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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