I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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