Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
