i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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