CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
