Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
