So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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