she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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