On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
