It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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