Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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