Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
