Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There are leaves in my underwear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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