I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize