Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Too much gin, very little bucket
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
