I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
