I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Is it penis luge time yet?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
