dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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