Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
