I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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