Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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