My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
