My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
bring money and cleavage
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
