so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
i think my cat just said my name.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
