she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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