u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
